Isn’t being happy your ultimate goal? Most of us want more money, a better house, more holidays etc. – but are these things worth it if you’re not happy? Would you rather be miserable with millions in the bank, or happy with a modest amount?
Most of us are socially conditioned to chase material things, and neglect our happiness. Yes material things CAN help you become a touch happier for a while, but they will not make you happy within yourself. Jim Carey summed this up when he said…
Harvard University did a very interesting and informative study, studying people’s lives for 74 years. There is A LOT that can be gleaned from it…
Harvard University recently released the findings of a 74 years study that cost more than 20 million dollars. They closely studied 268 men’s lives from 1938 until 2012. The main aim was to find out what factors contributed to a happy and healthy life. They looked at I.Q.’s, drinking habits, smoking, income, marriage, education…you name it.
This study tells you what does and doesn’t contribute towards how to live a happy. There are many fascinating surprises.
At a time when many people around the world are living into their tenth decade, the longest longitudinal study of human development ever undertaken offers some welcome news for the new old age: our lives continue to evolve in our later years, and often become more fulfilling than before.
Begun in 1938, the Grant Study of Adult Development charted the physical and emotional health of over 200 men, starting with their undergraduate days. The now-classic Adaptation to Lifereported on the men’s lives up to age 55 and helped us understand adult maturation. Now George Vaillant follows the men into their nineties, documenting for the first time what it is like to flourish far beyond conventional retirement.
For centuries great psychologists such as Freud, Jung and Adler theorised how much of a person’s life is dictated by nature and nurture. This was done more through the intuitive thinking and debate than empirical evidence. Now there is solid evidence. Some well established theories have been upheld, but many have also been disproved.
The study concludes that self development should never end, even in your 90’s. You can teach an old dog new tricks. In fact it is essential that you grow and adapt throughout your life.
It is not always easy to know how best to live. For example does alcohol really hinder your life? Should you give up completely, or can you drink whatever you want? The study found that alcoholism was THE biggest cause of marriage break down. It also showed that it was the cause of neurosis and depression, not the other way around. But without knowing this you might spend a life time abstaining from alcohol, even if you love it, for no reason.
How selfish do you need to be in life? The findings seem to point to relationships being the biggest contribution towards a happy and healthy life. Those that were better at forming relationships far outlived those that weren’t.
Does exercise really make you that much healthier? Or is it that healthier people tend to exercise? Do the things that go right in your life outweigh the things that go wrong? There are so many essential bits of knowledge to be gained from this study. You have one shot at this life, so for I would say that this is essential reading.
Hypnotherapy can also help you become happier. It can help remove those limiting thoughts and beliefs that hold you back, and replace them with more positive and empowering ones.
I could talk to you for hours about hypnotherapy, but instead, why not try it for yourself?
Here is a full professional quality hypnotherapy session to help your happiness. It is very pleasant and perfectly safe…
Please CLICK HERE For My FREE Happiness Hypnosis MP3
Now you’ve heard my thoughts on how to live a happy life, here are the thoughts of several experts…
A word from a few friends…
Kac Young – http://www.kacyoung.com/
“Get Over Yourself!” I believe is the number one tip to being happy. When we
think of others and put their concerns first, we fulfil our need to share
the gifts we have and who we are. The results we get from an outer focus
brings us unspeakable joy. When we are generous and thoughtful, we are
filled with invisible gifts that last forever. The best salespeople are
those who put the needs of their buyers first. The best agents are those who
are primarily concerned about the welfare and career of their clients.
Putting others first does not mean giving yourself up. It means using our
positive qualities for compassion towards other human beings.
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Barry Maher – www.barrymaher.com
Stress raises our breathing rate as well as our heart rate. An at-ease,
stress free breathing rate is about 10 to 12 breaths per minute. Nowadays of
course with all the stress in the world, everyone’s breathing rate is
typically significantly higher than that. The good news is that bringing our
breathing rate down also brings down our stress levels and calms our bodies
and our minds.
Several times a day, maybe before work, at mid day and in the afternoon,
consciously practice taking six-second breaths: three seconds in, three
seconds out, breathing from the diaphragm but normal breaths not deep
breaths. Depending upon your stress level, at first it make take as long as
five minutes of six second breathing to bring your breathing rate down so it
remains at 10 to 12 breaths per minute after you’ve stopped. But with
practice you’ll soon be able to do it in as little as a minute. And calmer
breathing, means a calmer body and a calmer mind.
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Cammi Balleck – http://www.cammiballeck.com/
My tip to be happy is to keep yourself biochemically balanced A main reason many people are not as happy as they should be is a lack of nutrients that are VITAL for the normal function of feel good chemicals. Many Americans are nutritionally deficient and this is the CAUSE of many symptoms people have everyday, including low moods and low energy. Nutrient deficiencies put a ton of stress on our bodies, especially the endocrine system. Whole food supplements are great. I recommend that you get a whole food multivitamin and mineral supplement, make sure you are getting selenium, manganese, B2, and B12 from your multivitamin, or add more to what you already take if you are on a multi and still fatigued or moody. It is also important to take iodine supplements and omega 3 supplements (only the omega 3’s, you don’t need omega 6 or 9 supplements). I like to have my patients take extra calcium and magnesium with iodine in it at night before bed, many of my patients call magnesium their happy pill. You should also get
L-Tyrosine and the herbs ashwagandha or withania can help too. L-Tyrosine is an amino acid that helps the body convert neurotransmitters, and it is the stimulus for your brain to tell the endocrine system what to do. Ashwagandha or withania are great adaptogen herbs, meaning they help the body adapt. They are great healing herbs for the adrenals and thyroid and really good in times of stress.
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Jaime Pfeffer – jaimepfeffer.com
Create a joy list, containing 5-15 items that bring you joy. These could be
anything from smelling flowers to taking a walk to spending time with the
person you love to getting a massage. Pick one item from your joy list
every day and make an appointment with joy. Schedule it your phone and set
a reminder. Then, make a point to do it! Within a week, the increased
happiness in your life will be evident.
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Donna Schuller – http://www.healthyfamilyhappylife.org/
The first two things that come to mind as far as being happy goes include:
1) Start the day in prayer and meditation. Make sure you have a quiet
place where you can be undisturbed for 10-15 minutes. You can even do
this before you get out of bed. Practice diaphragmatic breathing as you
reath in good, happy thoughts and breath out the stress of life. This will
jump start a happier attitude. Even if you only have five minutes before
you get on with your day, it’s worth it.
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Write a gratitude list and leave it out where you can see it. Include
things like your family, the flowers or grass in your yard, your freedom,
and even include material things that you own. Make sure the list is at
least a couple of pages long. When you start feeling less than happy about
your circumstances make sure you read the list. It will serve as a
reminder of all that you have to be thankful for, thus making you feel
happier.
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Tina B. Tessina, PhD – http://www.tinatessina.com/
I grew up with a fatalistic, depressed mother who said “don’t get too happy
– something bad will happen” It took me a while to learn that that wasn’t
right, and what to think instead. There are three things you can do to
bring more happiness into your life:
1. Gratitude: Remember to notice and be thankful for whatever you have,
what your friends, family and partner do for and give to you.
2. Generosity: Giving to others, especially giving thanks and kindness,
will make you happy, because most others will give back.
3. Ethics: Living your life according to a set of ethics that make sense to
you will make you feel good about yourself, and increase your happiness.
Looking for the blessings in every day will maximize your awareness of how
lucky you are, and increase the luck that comes your way. I think of it the
same way I think of receiving a gift. If I receive good things by thinking
“It’s about time”, then who would want to give me more? But, if I receive
gifts with gratitude and pleasure, then the giver wants to give me more. I
think life works the same way.
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Stephanie Adams-Nicolai
I can speak from experience as well as being the author of over two
dozen spiritual books:
7 Ways To Be Happy:
1.) Be true to your inner spirit and learn how to intuitively nurture it.
2.) Follow your dreams and do not be afraid to obtain them.
3.) Do something wonderful for yourself daily, even if only for 5-10 minutes.
4.) Develop a hobby you love and stick to it.
5.) Appreciate something simple about nature, no matter how great or small.
6.) Find a career that you truly love and the money will follow.
7.) Love your loved ones with all your heart and embrace the love they
give back to you.
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Jaron Marquis – http://www.jmarquismusic.com/
Always wake up and walk around your house touching everything that you
are grateful for. I do this each morning and often remind myself that I am
very lucky, blessed and fortunate to have the people and things in my life
that matter. Even seemingly small things from getting out of a bed, walking
to the bathroom and turning on water. By doing those simple tasks I have
reminded myself that I am more fortunate that 60% of the world who can’t do
that. Even picking up my cell phone to check emails and messages. I am
truly grateful and blessed, so therefore…happy!
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Leo Willcocks
Do a gratitude journal. For 30 days write down five things each day that
you are grateful for. (Do not use the same thing to be grateful for in any
of the days. 30 days x 5 things to be grateful for = 150 things to be
grateful for at the end of the month). As we acknowledge things that we are
grateful for, we find and notice more things to be grateful for.
As we see more things to be grateful for, we see that life is better than
we first thought, and cortisol the stress hormone’s levels go down and we
are happier.
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Ken Lambert – http://www.keepsoundminds.org/
Do at least 1 thing that you truly enjoy each and every day. It should be something that lasts at least 15 or 20 minutes. Essentially this habit teaches you to do something enjoyable and do something solely for yourself on a regular, daily basis. Too many people spend days, weeks, even months of living a life but doing NOTHING that they want to do. This leads to the opposite of happiness, and often times depression and hopelessness. Some examples of activities might be: exercise, reading, playing an instrument, walking in nature, listening to music, etc.
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Jane C. Owen, Ph.D – Midwestern State University – jane.owen@mwsu.edu
My key to happiness is a sense of purpose in what I am doing, the belief that what I am doing is helpful to others, and the certainty that it has eternal significance. Without a firm spiritual foundation and belief in Jesus Christ, none of the above would be possible for me. A certain amount of self-care is necessary to maintain mental, emotional, and physical health, and I find that spending time with close friends, working outside in my flowers, and reading provides that sustenance. I like to see myself as a conduit through which God’s love can flow to those I touch, and it is up to me to keep the channels open. After thinking about this, “happiness” may be a superficial term for the deeper emotion that we all seek; perhaps “joy” or “contentment” or “fulfillment” would be more accurate.
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Samaritans Purse – http://www.samaritanspurse.org
I rather enjoy packing shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. While it doesn’t cost a lot of money, the little toys I pack in a shoebox not only make me happy (who doesn’t like toys), but remind me to put my problems in perspective. It makes my problems seem so much smaller and “solvable”. The child who receives the box will get an even bigger smile when they see those toys. And many children go on to greater joys still. It all just brings a smile to my face.
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Chris Rither – http://www.onemeandream.com/
We find happiness in the things we love to do, it’s as simple as that. The problem is we get so caught up in what we have to do, that when we do what we love, we often feel guilty. If one wants to pursue happiness they must find a balance between the two. For me I first had to become fully convinced of just what was required of me in my various responsibilities and duties. I then wrote out my responsibilities and confirmed just how much time and effort each required. Then I was able to pursue the things that made me happy without sacrificing my commitment to the rest.
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William Ferullo – http://www.noeasyjourneytothetop.com/
One tip to be happier is to have a journey. Something you are working
towards. It could be something small and easy, or long and hard, anything
that pushes you to get better. Goals are good to have, but the journey is
how you get there, and that’s where the beauty lies, in the journey. Maybe
you are working to improve your diet, health, or want to make a lifestyle
change. Perhaps you are building a business, or improving your fitness.
Whatever it is, working towards SOMETHING will give you purpose, and
undoubtedly make you happier!
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David Baker-Hargrove, Ph.D., – http://drdavidbakerhargrove.com/blog
Know yourself, accept yourself and you will love yourself. We too often get caught up in how we want the world to work and to be in order for our lives to be easy and happy. It’s a fool’s errand that only leads to frustration and tension at best, depression and substance abuse at worst. We do it because it seems easier to focus on/change others than ourselves. Go internal. Get to know who you really are. Make a list of the things you reject or don’t like about yourself and concentrate on finding ways to love them. Your world will be transformed.
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Diane Lang, MA – http://www.dlcounseling.com
I wake up every morning and start my day with a Gratitude check – I say 3-5
things I’m grateful for
I say 3-5 things that I like about myself
I ask god/universe/source to let me know how I can be of service to the
planet and to myself
I say my daily affirmations – everyone has different ones but for me it is
I’ am willing to change and I’m healthy and whole
Then I meditate for about 5-10 minutes or longer depending on my schedule
just 5 minutes is enough to get the benefits of meditation
Walk or exercise every morning.
You dont have to do all the happiness habits BUT if you can do at least 3
of them every morning, you will notice a rise in your happiness.
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Allen Klein – http://www.allenklein.com/
Many of us focus on being grateful for the good things in our life but one of the things we neglect, and one that could make us happier, is to be grateful for the things we don’t like, the things that irritate us, the losses and not-so-great things in our life. Why? Because those are the things that teach us the greatest lessons and have the greatest potential for our spiritual growth.
Human beings are funny creatures. Often, it is only when we are hit over the head that we learn a lesson. It is why we therefore need to be grateful when these kinds of things happen. And I can almost guarantee that by being grateful for the not-so-great things in our life, we will have a much greater potential for being happier.
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Dr. Fran Walfish – http://www.drfranwalfish.com/
DR. FRAN’S “7 SECRETS” TO BE HAPPY:
1. Give up trying to control other people, especially your spouse/partner.
2. Praise every increment in yourself toward independence and moving outward into the world. Cherish your ability to stand on your own.
3. View people as good until they demonstrate otherwise. Most people are good. Those who are not will reveal themselves in time and you can weed out the ones who are not worthy of your friendship.
4. Do not strive for perfection. Be “good enough.”
5. Build self-esteem toward self and others by using words that support and motivate with empathic attunement, rather than criticize.
6. Express your feelings in the moment. Do not allow anger and disappointment to build up inside you. Say what you feel clearly and respectfully. It will free you.
7. Give yourself Special Time. Take 10-15 minutes each day to be with yourself and chill. You’d be surprised how challenging this is when you have a spouse and children tugging at you 24/7. Give yourself short, undivided, positive attention each day for nourish and fortify you.
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Jackie Woodside – http://jackiewoodside.com/
Most people spend their time, energy and attention talking about and thinking about what they DON’T want. They complain, worry and fret over what might happen or what they think could happen – always in the most tragic and negative ways. Want to be happier? Try this one simple trick: Focus on what you want! Do not allow yourself the luxury and social acceptance of dwelling on what you don’t want, wish didn’t happen or worry will happen. Yes, I said social acceptance. The majority of what people talk about is not the exciting future they imagine or envision to create. It is on the dreary “what if’s” that drain your energy and happiness. Shift your focus. Think about and talk only about what you want and notice how your mood follows the positive, uplifting path.
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Juania Owens
Many people aren’t cognoscente of the fact that happiness already exists
within us. They go searching for their own happiness in other people,
things and situations, yet only gain temporary, fleeting moments of
happiness. I believe happiness exists at our core and knowing how to access
that happiness is key to living a happy, joyous life and bouncing back
positively from adversities.
I would start with learning to love yourself first. This means loving who
you are – every flaw, mistake you’ve made, habit you’ve developed or
physical element you think needs fixing. Loving yourself does not happen
overnight. It takes patient, consistent effort.
When you love yourself, you invite unlimited abundance into your life in
the form of happiness and even more love from yourself and others. People
will flock to you because you will effortlessly radiate that love and
happiness. And therefore, you do not need to go searching for love or
happiness from external sources, rather it will attach and attract itself
to you.
Happiness must come from within. It has little to do with your possessions or your status. You CAN learn how to be happy – it’s all in your mind.
Reporting on all aspects of male life, including relationships, politics and religion, coping strategies, and alcohol use (its abuse being by far the greatest disruptor of health and happiness for the study’s subjects), Triumphs of Experience shares a number of surprising findings. For example, the people who do well in old age did not necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa. While the study confirms that recovery from a lousy childhood is possible, memories of a happy childhood are a lifelong source of strength. Marriages bring much more contentment after age 70, and physical aging after 80 is determined less by heredity than by habits formed prior to age 50. The credit for growing old with grace and vitality, it seems, goes more to ourselves than to our stellar genetic makeup.
People are able because they think they’re able” ~ Virgil